You Made My Heart Jump

Monday, October 02, 2017

You Made My Heart Jump

It was the first day of college when I first saw you. You was a part of the crowd, yet managed to stand out. you was not the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, but there was a grace in your attitude that made you different. 

You was one of the person I wanted to be acquainted with. You had some striking characteristics, a vibe of familiarity. You made my heart jump with every smile of yours. You saw me watching you. Our eyes met for a second, maybe, but it felt like eternity. 

Days passed for me drooling over you. We came to know each other both formally and informally. My days were incomplete without your presence. It was a day well spent when you were present around me. The Days were wasted in your absence. 

Occasional petty talks were now happening. Those talks were the reason for my survival. I was trying my best to be a part of your life. The attempts were in vain. I didn't understand when that crush changed into liking and ultimately into love. I had started to love you, and I didn't even understood my feelings. I was perplexed. The more we talked, the more I fall. Casual chats turned more intensive. 

I thought of approaching her with my feelings. Even tried at many occasions. But withdrew. A thought came to my mind. This could result in the breakage of the friendship, the sense of mutual trust. What if it hurt her, what if causes problems in her life. Many questions, many consequences came to my mind. I just couldn't help myself. 

Started to pity myself. 

Things were turning bad for me. And I was pretty much helpless about it. What can I do? Was the question arising. Nothing was the answer.

I opted for the suppression of my feelings and let things continue in the way it was going. I determined myself that I would not do anything that could cause havoc on the path I was on. I loved her enough to let her go. I loved her enough to destroy myself to see her happy. I loved her enough. 

I made a promise that day. I will stand by her side in her best and worst days. I will standby her in days of need. I will be present on her side whenever and however she would need me. I would be there for her at every step of her life. A shadow in love with her.

"A Guest Post by AFNAN ALAM.
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