What Hurts The Most

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

What Hurts The Most

You never know what truly hurts until you sit back and analyze all the things that do hurt. And what truly hurts is the one thing that makes your heart clench tighter. Makes you grunt with pain for a second. Lots of things hurt. But there's one thing that hurts the most.

We were together for a long time. And long time for higher studies that is. Over two and a half years. We started dating freshman year and now we're halfway through our final year. My whole college experience was with this girl. And I loved her. Man, I was head over heels for her. So sweet, so funny, and so talented. I loved her kisses, her hugs, and when she held me tight. She made me laugh more than anyone ever did. That's what I loved most about her. She had an amazing sense of humor. I loved everything that we did together. We had so many great and fun memories. 

Everything was fine. At least I thought it was. It was perfect for me. I didn't think we were having the many issues. But apparently, she did. Because she randomly texts me one day, out of the blue, and says that she's not sure about us. I ask her what she's talking about. But all she says is how completely different we are. How we can't listen to the same music in the car. How I'm Muslim and she's not. 

Just stating differences that she sees. I didn't get it. I still don't. We've had those differences for so long and it wasn't a problem before. Why was it a problem now? But then all of the sudden she says that she doesn't love me anymore. Says that she did in the beginning, for a long while, but that she doesn't anymore. 

And that's what hurts the most. Loving someone so much, but knowing they don't even love you back.
I found out a few days ago that she actually left me for someone else. It's been one month. And she's already with someone else. All I feel is anger and sadness, pain and confusion. 

It hurts. Everything hurts. From her breaking up with me, to being with someone else so soon. But what hurts the most is knowing I lived a long while blinded by a love I felt was so strong. And she didn't even love me back.
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